Friday, January 20, 2006

Tomorrow


Tomorrow. I have A Maths tution tomorrow. I am bit of worried. I don't know if I will still do maths like a dumb like the weeks before. I understand clearly that if this continues I gonna lose confidence, and I'm dead.

Without confidence I can't have anything done well. This forms a cycle, which is what I don't want to happen. As soon as I am trapped inside it takes me a whole lot of time to get out.

There's no time to waste, and everyone is making progress. I can't stop but advance. I have to force myself forward, no matter what.

Power up, Kelvin.
Always support you.

Cheers,

Kelvin

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Left...

It´s always true.

When you no longer posess something, you miss it.

Not only does it fit on relationship, but everything, including your brain.

Here´s my story.

Weeks ago, when I went to Tsang´s for Additional Mathematics tution as usual, I had difficulties doing lots of the questions. I stuck, which was unusual to me. Even though sometimes it might take me more or less five minutes to solve particularly hard questions, I didn´t have the slightest problem doing the ¨formulated¨ ones. It had changed, without my knowledge. Since several weeks ago I could no longer find the solution by myself, I must look at the hints on that sheet or peek at the people who once asked me how to solve questions all the time. I ASKED THE PEOPLE WHO WAS MUCH WEAKER THAN ME. Okay, so what about the simple ¨formulated¨ questions? Guess what, I could rarely got the answer right even doing the simple calculation, such as addition, subtraction, to name but a few. As soon as I realised that I started to convince myself that all that was just because I didn't get enough sleep, and if I go to bed earlier and I could be like what I was like before.

I was proved to be wrong, completely.

After weeks, I found that no matter when I go to bed, nothing have changed. I am still like a noob, that I have to rely on the people who once asked me all those silly questions, of which I laughed at them.

This situation hasn't changed at all until now, which is why I am writing this entry. I guess my "Maths gene" had left me without my notice, with unknown reasons.

I am depressed. I shed tears. I cry.

What can I do to get my Maths Gene back?

God, please help me, coz' this is my only pleasure in this game. When I realised that my Maths Gene had left me and I became a dumb, I am shocked, not knowing what to do.

Please help me, God.

Love,

Kelvin, who begins to believe once again since primary school that God's here.