Can't help

Well it seems ages since I last time left an entry here. Umm, I have been thinking about that since then, whether I should write something that I'm not supposed to. I want to say something to a, friend maybe, though I'm not a talking man, my words just slip away from my tongue when I face her, and I don't even know if that's the right decision to write about that after so long.

I want to tell you again that I'm really sorry for all that. But I'd like to let you know that everything has a reason. It didn't just pop out from nowhere. You must had thought that I did that just to do that. I didn't. Maybe I'm weird, I don't know, but I just couldn't stand that I felt like the same to you with the others....... I wanted to feel that I'm different from them because, you know why. And so I did the silliest thing ever in my life, hoping to convince myself I'm really different. I did that. I couldn't believe I really did that. But that's all because I felt myself not more than a friend to you, when we WERE more than that actually. Neither am I trying to defend myself nor to mean that the fault was not on me. Yeah, I know. It's totally my problem, that I was depressed seeing you getting along more than well with other guys. I always think absurdly, I know. .After all these days I realized the sole reason I felt depressed was that I was not confident enough, right. I would have felt nothing as long as I was confident, and everything might turn out in a totally different way. I'm sorry. As a matter of fact, until now I am still not sure if I should post all that out. I know you probably won't go to my weblog and see this entry by chance. Which is one of the reasons why I post it here. Let fate decide if you will suddenly visit my weblog and notice this entry, or simply let this entry sinking down the bottom.

Not trying to save anything as I know I can't, and wish God bless you, Ling.

Once again.
I AM SORRY------

Best Wishes,

Kelvin, one who once X(I remember that X is your favourite word) you.

I have no idea what's this for, and I know this passage will change nothing in this galaxy, yet I can't help, I can't. I'll explode one day if I don't tell the person the "truth"(if you believe).

Kelvin
1-12-05